


The Lost Years: A Team Groupchat Interlude

by mizdiz



Series: Scrap Metal [4]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Brotp, Comedy, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Series, Texting, Wholesome Text Threads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 22:50:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20646980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizdiz/pseuds/mizdiz
Summary: More is to come, but before we jump into a brand new plot, let's see what our favorite couple and our even more favorite brotp were up to during the years lost in the time jump...





	The Lost Years: A Team Groupchat Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> this will make absolutely no sense if you haven't read "check engine light," just fyi. here are just some snipets of what went down in that five year time jump at the end of the last chapter. enjoy! hopefully!

  
  


(7:09p) ~how was carol's first day of school?~

(7:12p) -she said it went gud-

(7:12p) -said it felt weird bein back in a classroom again specially after bein a momma-

(7:14p) >It's super cool that she's going back to get a degree, though. Some people never get there, but you guys have twin toddlers and she's making it happen. Massive kudos.<

(7:15p) ~plus now you're married to a smart college girl. ;) ;) ;) ~

(7:18p) -wtf is wrong w/ u?-

(7:20p) >Do we really have the time to list it all?<

(7:21p) -gud point-

(7:23p) ~you're both hilarious.~

(7:23p) ~all bullshit aside, though, carol really is doing so awesome.~

(7:26p) -she is im real proud of her-

(7:26p) -like can u believe the person she is now is the same person we had 2 drag 2 the psych ward a lil over a yr ago?-

(7:26p) -she didnt wna live n now look @ her-

(7:27p) >You're a good influence on her.<

(7:31p) -i help but this is all her-

(7:31p) -rn shes holdin jojo n goin over a syllabus 4 math class like thts strait up superwoman status-

(7:34p) ~i dunno how carol was the cheerleader, you're way better at it.~

(7:35p) >For real. She might be the one doing it, but she's got one hell of a support system.<

(7:38p) -ofc she does-

(7:38p) -shes my wife-

(7:40p) ~lucky her.~

(7:42p) >You jealous, Glenn?<

(7:43p) ~desperately. daryl, i've been meaning to tell you that i'm madly in love with you.~

(7:45p) -lol u proly shud have said smthn b4 u literally married me n her-

(7:49p) ~i did it because i knew it was what would make you happy, but you'll always be the one who got away.~

(7:50p) >This is tragic.<

(7:52p) -uh huh-

(7:52p) -im gna go read my kids a bedtime story n leave this convo now-

(7:54p) ~i'll always love you!!!~

(7:55p) >Rofl, tell Carol we said congrats on her first day, Daryl.<

(7:56p) -yeah yeah-

(7:56p) -i will-

*

(6:43p) - _ you sent a photo _ -

(6:43p) - -.- -

(6:43p) -dnt ever have kids-

(6:46p) >Rofllll<

(6:47p) ~how did that even happen???~

(6:49p) -she found carols chocolate stash this morn-

(6:49p) -ate like half of it-

(6:49p) -including sum wrappers-

(6:52p) ~she looks so self-satisfied.~

(6:53p) -ya well she aint no more shes been throwin up off n on 4 hrs now-

(6:53p) -we had 2 take her 2 urgent care n they said she'd b fine but proly gna feel real shitty 4 the next day or 2-

(6:54p) -do u kno how gross chocolatey bb barf is?-

(6:56p) >Nope, and I hope I never do.<

(6:59p) -the only nice part is tht shes rly cuddly whn she doesnt feel gud so shes letting us hold her n snuggle which she nvr does-

(6:59p) -wish she didnt feel bad but also wtf kid dnt eat so much damn chocolate-

(6:59p) -she n her momma both istg-

(7:02p) ~at least jesse has a normal relationship with sweets?~

(7:04p) -ya but also he finger painted the dog last nite so theyre both kinda on the shit list rn-

(7:04p) -y did we teach them how 2 do things? tht was such a dumb idea-

(7:07p) ~all part of being a parrot.~

(7:08p) >The next part is you shoving them out of the nest so they can learn how to fly.<

(7:09p) -no thnx i can barely handle them on 2 legs we dnt need no flying bbies arnd here-

(7:10p) ~ -.- ~

(7:10p) ~ *parent.~

(7:11p) -lmao-

(7:13p) >Tell Josie we hope she feels better soon.<

(7:14p) ~and also to maybe try and exercise some restraint next time.~

(7:21p) -ya she just barfed on jj-

(7:21p) -gna go bathe sum kids ttyl-

(7:23p) >Thanks for my daily reminder to check with Michonne to make sure her IUD is still working.<

(7:24p) ~we love those kids, but man are they good birth control.~

(7:26p) -i bet-

(7:26p) -wudnt trade em 4 the world tho-

(7:26p) -painted dog n chocolate barf n all-

*

(9:09a) ~happy Birmingham!~

(9:09a) ~bias hoverboard~

(9:09a) ~bar mitzvah~

(9:09a) ~fuck it, close enough.~

(9:09a) ~happy bar mitzvah, daryl.~

(9:11a) >Mazel tov!<

(9:14a) -thnx-

(9:14a) -i think-

(9:16a) ~the big twenty one! are you going to get super turnt, as the kids say?~

(9:17a) >Do they, tho?<

(9:18a) -lmfao nah-

(9:18a) -whn uve done so much underage drinking its not as exciting 2 b able 2 do it legally-

(9:20a) >As an eventual student of the Atlanta Police Academy I have no idea what you're talking about and can't relate, but if I could I would say yeah, I get it.<

(9:21a) ~smooth, officer.~

(9:23a) -im sure merle will make me drink smthn esp since he cant-

(9:25a) ~better to live vicariously than to fall off the wagon, i guess?~

(9:26a) >He still doing good?<

(9:28a) -afaik-

(9:28a) -we had him n barb over a few weeks ago n he was flirting w/ her which was gross but he told her he wud spend more time w/ her but she drinks 2 much-

(9:29a) -he said it nicer than tht-

(9:29a) -i think he called her a double temptation or smthn else disgusting-

(9:29a) -she prob shud cut back on the wine but now im worried thts the only reason she hasnt hooked up w/ my bro so now im conflicted-

(9:32a) ~i think i speak for all three of us when i say, big yikes.~

(9:34a) >Yes. That's still hilarious, though.<

(9:37a) -no-

(9:37a) -o guess wut jojo got me 4 my birthday-

(9:41a) >Uhhhh, a soiled diaper?<

(9:42a) ~a handful of moist cheerios?~

(9:45a) -nah she said a new word-

(9:47a) >Hey, good!<

(9:47a) ~about time, jesse's got half a dictionary on her.~

(9:47a) ~or at least he thinks he does, even tho 85% is gibberish.~

(9:48a) >What word?<

(10:01a) -dog-

(10:02a) >Rofl.<

(10:02a) ~of course.~

(10:04a) -it was real cute henry came in the nursery whn i went 2 get her n she looked rite @ him n said it-

(10:04a) -it was so clear even carol heard her over the bb monitor-

(10:04a) -her dr can suck it ik she knows words-

(10:07a) >Are they still saying she's behind on speech?<

(10:10a) -mhm but who cares shes like me she'll tlk whn she wants-

(10:10a) -she understands ik she does bc she listens- 

(10:10a) -well sometimes she listens-

(10:10a) -she understands enuf 2 ignore us whn she doesnt wna listen-

(10:11a) -jj is doin more n more sentences tho thts been cool-

(10:11a) -sometimes they even make sense-

(10:11a) -carol got him 2 tell me happy b-day n ilu n istg i almost cried-

(10:11a) -his lil voice tho-

(10:11a) -luhh u-

(10:11a) -thts how he says it-

(10:12a) -they both gave me lil bb kisses 2-

(10:12a) -man theyre cool-

(10:12a) -anyway-

(10:12a) -wut was the question?-

(10:13a) >Rofl, is Josie still behind in speech?<

(10:14a) -oh rite-

(10:14a) -no shes not the drs r just dumb-

(10:16a) ~amen.~

(10:19a) >Well happy birthday, brother. Glad you got your little family to celebrate with. Wish we could be there.<

(10:20a) ~for real. but hey! this is your first traditional birthday sex night as husband and wife!~

(10:22a) -jfc im leaving now gudbye-

(10:23a) ~ _ dumbass changed changed the group name to "birthday sex: married edition" _ ~

(10:25a) > _ grp prjct rick changed the group name to "maybe we're a little too invested in daryl's birthday sex" _ <

(10:26a) - _ you changed the group name to "yes u r" _ -

(10:27a) ~ _ dumbass changed the group name to "luhh u daryl <3" _ ~

(10:28a) -...-

(10:28a) -thnx-

(10:28a) - :') -

*

(12:03p) -hey-

(12:03p) -guess wut-

(12:03p) -hey guys guess wut-

(12:06p) ~i have a feeling i already know but go ahead.~

(12:07p) -ive been married a whole yr-

(12:08p) ~how did i know that's what you were going to say?~

(12:09p) >Because the man is disgustingly in love with his wife and is also very predictable.<

(12:09p) >Happy anniversary, brother.<

(12:09p) ~yeah yeah, happy thing, you hopeless romantic.~

(12:11p) -ty-

(12:11p) -a whole yr-

(12:11p) -i feel like we just got married-

(12:11p) -tho ig it feels like we just had the bbies n theyll b 2 in 2 months-

(12:12p) -oh jfc theyll b 2 in 2 months-

(12:12p) -nope not thinking abt tht thinking abt my wife n not how crazy fast my kids r growing-

(12:15p) >You guys still going to Atlanta for the night?<

(12:19p) -mhm-

(12:21p) ~is merle still babysitting?~

(12:24p) -mmmhm…-

(12:28p) >Rofl, you still feeling nervous about it?<

(12:30p) -sure am-

(12:33p) ~okay, but he's watched them before. a million times.~

(12:35p) -not overnite tho-

(12:37p) ~i can do it if you're really freaking out about it, i don't mind.~

(12:41p) -no imma let him but i'll prob b worried the whole nite-

(12:45p) >Nothing sexier than spending your anniversary worrying about the kids.<

(12:46p) -ik ik ik-

(12:46p) -i'll try n b chill-

(12:46p) -carols chill abt it n theres no real reason 2 b worried he knows how 2 take care of em-

(12:46p) -n guys he was so excited whn i said ok like its a big deal 2 him tht i trust him enuf but also-

(12:46p) -idk if i trust him enuf???-

(12:48p) ~honestly, i think it's less about you not trusting him because of your history with him, and more about you being a crazy protective dad.~

(12:50p) -im not crazy protective-

(12:51p) ~right.~

(12:51p) >Of course not.<

(12:51p) ~what was i thinking?~

(12:51p) >Foolish to even say such a thing.<

(12:52p) -o fuk off im normal amounts of protective-

(12:54p) ~remember when you tried to convince carol to let you put elbow and knee pads on the kids until they walk better?~

(12:55p) >Or when she suggested you guys consider putting them in an actual daycare to give your aunt-in-law a break and you basically had a heart attack?<

(12:56p) -those r normal things gdi-

(12:57p) >We're just saying that maybe you should consider how well Merle has done at redeeming himself over the past year and a half, and spend the night focused on your wife.<

(12:59p) ~when was the last time you two had a full night alone together? with her in school and you working doubles?~

(1:03p) -...ider-

(1:04p) >Exactly.<

(1:05p) ~merle has both our numbers and barb's if he has any questions, and if it'll make you feel better we'll check in on him a couple times to make sure he's holding down the fort.~

(1:05p) ~you go worship carol for a night and be the twenty one year olds that you are, okay?~

(1:09p) -blurgh-

(1:09p) -ok-

(1:09p) -ur rite ik ur rite-

(1:11p) >You got some very loved kids who are very well taken care of. It takes a village, brother.<

(1:13p) -aight-

(1:13p) -ty-

(1:13p) -im not crazy protective tho-

(1:14p) >And Glenn's not a pain in the ass.<

(1:14p) ~and rick isn't a walking turd face.~

(1:15p) - :/ -

(1:17p) >It's okay that you're protective. Just make sure you give them, and yourself, space to breathe.<

(1:19p) -i will-

(1:19p) -its just hard-

(1:19p) -theyre my bbies u kno?-

(1:20p) >And nothing will change that.<

(1:21p) ~so go party hard in atlanta.~

(1:22p) >And congrats on your one year.<

*

(8:06p) -i have been @ the hospital 4 a lot of reasons in the past few yrs-

(8:06p) -carols mom dying-

(8:06p) -her appendix surgery-

(8:06p) -the bbies the psych ward the accident-

(8:06p) -even coming 2 tell my dad 2 fuk off-

(8:06p) -but this was-

(8:06p) -by far-

(8:06p) -the stupidest reason i have ever gone 2 one-

(8:08p) ~yeaaaah it's not great.~

(8:09p) >How's he doing? You're not freaking out anymore so I'm assuming he's okay?<

(8:10p) -ya he'll b fine-

(8:10p) -lil dummy-

(8:11p) >What'd the doctor say?<

(8:12p) -tht the edges of the dice are dull enuf tht shes not 2 worried abt it scratching up his belly or smthn so we just gotta keep a watch out 4 it-

(8:13p) >Keep a watch out for it…<

(8:14p) -we have 2 check his shit until we find it-

(8:15p) ~hey, bright side! that's your lucky d20, and it looks like you might get it back!~

(8:16p) -idk how lucky it is nymore-

(8:17p) >Or if you'd even want it back after that.<

(8:18p) -ya i think imma get new dice 4 our next campaign-

(8:19p) ~really? i feel like there's something beautiful about fartyl having a lucky d20 that was literally shit.~

(8:20p) >Write that into your character's backstory.<

(8:21p) -hard pass-

(8:22p) ~speaking of passing, what happens if it, you know, doesn't make a reappearance?~

(8:23p) -if we aint found it by friday we're sposed 2 come back 2 make sure its not stuck but she wasnt tht worried n carol thinks its funny so im calmer now-

(8:24p) -btw the nurse who did our intake asked wut he swallowed n i said a d20 n then had 2 explain tht its a 20 sided dice 4 dnd n she snorted n tried 2 cover it up w/ a cough so tht was cool-

(8:24p) -like yes i get it im a fukin nerd but im freaking out tht my kid is dying so cud u save the roast 4 l8r??-

(8:25p) ~hahahaha.~

(8:25p) >Rofllll<

(8:26p) ~how's the patient doing?-

(8:27p) -bein dramatic af-

(8:27p) -he acted like the xray machine was gonna eat him or smthn-

(8:27p) -i tried 2 calm him down n he said "no daddy monster"-

(8:27p) -carol had 2 pretend 2 get xrayed b4 he wud do it n even then he looked like we were making him walk death row-

(8:28p) >How theatrical.<

(8:28p) ~you say he was dramatic but i bet he had you eating out of the palm of his hand, didn't he?~

(8:29p) -no-

(8:30p) >Did you try and convince the doctor to find a different way to check him out and then Carol had to convince both you and Jesse that the xray machine wasn't a monster?<

(8:31p) -...no-

(8:32p) ~are you lying?~

(8:33p) -...he was scared-

(8:34p) ~dork.~

(8:35p) >What's he up to now?<

(8:36p) -snuggled up w/ carol n me watchin tv-

(8:36p) -he keeps sighing real sad like n keeps reminding us abt the monster-

(8:37p) ~what a betrayal, you fed him to the beast.~

(8:37p) >How'd Josie do waiting around the hospital?<

(8:38p) -she got into a container of cotton balls n threw them on the ground n then screamed no @ everyone whn we took them-

(8:38p) -so u kno-

(8:38p) -real fukin gr8-

(8:39p) ~welcome to the terrible twos, my friend. my nieces and nephews were all absolute shits. I was always very glad to be able to give them back whenever I wanted.~

(8:40p) -yeah they only been 2 like a month n its alrdy a fukin blast-

(8:41p) >Just keep reminding yourself that you love them, brother.<

(8:41p) ~and lock up your goddamn dice.~

  
  


_ [two days later] _

  
  


(11:16a) - _ you sent a photo _ -

(11:16a) -yay-

(11:18a) ~hey, you got your d20 back!~

(11:19a) >Fartyl lives to roll initiative another day.<

(11:20a) ~thank gonorrhea for that.~

(11:20a) ~you know what i meant.~

(11:21a) -i do-

(11:21a) -i also kno u get 2 pay jj's medical bills since this was ur fault-

(11:22a) ~psh! how do you figure that?~

(11:23a) -ur the reason i play this stupid game in the first place-

(11:24a) ~yeah, well, tequila's the reason you had sex without a condom but i don't think patrón paid for your kids' birth.~

(11:25a) -i knew dnd was a dumbass idea y did we ever do it?-

(11:26a) >If you will recall /you/ were the one who caved, not me.<

(11:27a) -i was dying in the hospital u shud have talked me out of it-

(11:28a) >More blame game, huh?<

(11:29a) ~anyway, we still on for thursday?~

(11:30a) -...-

(11:30a) >...<

(11:30a) -ya ig-

(11:30a) >I mean, it's not like we can just /not/ finish our campaign.<

(11:31a) ~that's what i thought.~

(11:31a) ~nerds.~

*

(9:59p) ~motorcycle.~

(10:01p) >Uh.<

(10:01p) -thts my thing?-

(10:02p) ~i know but i need your help and i dunno how to talk about it.~

(10:02p) ~so like…~

(10:02p) ~motorcycle.~

(10:03p) >Okay? I guess we play this the same way we do with Daryl?<

(10:04p) -wut do i say im not ever on this side of it-

(10:05p) >I guess we start by asking what this is pertaining to. What's on your mind, Glenn?<

(10:06p) ~you have to promise to keep it a secret.~

(10:07p) -???-

(10:07p) >You've never asked us to keep a secret before, it's always the other way around.<

(10:08p) ~well i am now, so do you promise?~

(10:09p) -i mean yeah-

(10:09p) >Of course.<

(10:10p) ~alright.~

(10:12p) >You gonna...tell us what's up, or…?<

(10:13p) ~blurgh. yes.~

(10:13p) ~so maggie's late.~

(10:14p) -4 wut?-

(10:14p) >Late for what?<

(10:14p) -o shit wait-

(10:14p) -u dnt mean l8 like as in time-

(10:15p) >I don't get it.<

(10:15p) >OH.<

(10:15p) >NOW I GET IT.<

(10:16p) ~yeah.~

(10:17p) >How late are we talking?<

(10:18p) ~five days.~

(10:19p) -did she take a test?-

(10:20p) ~no, i'm gonna drive to south carolina saturday and she'll do it then. i want to be there with her.~

(10:21p) >Shit. How are you doing?<

(10:22p) ~i'm freaking the fuck out.~

(10:22p) ~what if it's positive?~

(10:23p) >I dunno, man, have you guys talked about what you'd do?<

(10:24p) ~i don't think maggie could ever get an abortion, and i don't think either of us would be mentally able to do adoption, so that kind of just leaves one option on the table.~

(10:25p) >Daryl, pipe in here, you're the one out of the three of us with the most experience knocking up their significant other on accident.<

(10:26p) -idk man i mean if she is n u go thru w/ it then obvi u have our support-

(10:26p) -carol n me wud of been sol w/out u n ricks help esp tht 1st yr-

(10:26p) -we'd nvr leave u hanging-

(10:27p) >What he said.<

(10:28p) ~thanks.~

(10:28p) ~i know that like, in the broad scope of things we'd be fine, but it's a lot to think about, you know?~

(10:29p) -lol yes i do-

(10:29p) -v well-

(10:29p) -worked out p well 4 us tho-

(10:30p) >And you graduate at the end of May so you'd have your degree and everything out of the way.<

(10:31p) -i support yall either way but ngl im all abt it n wud b all over tht uncle shit-

(10:32p) >It'd probably make you super baby crazy.<

(10:33p) ~ajsdnka please don't use the b word, i'm not there yet.~

(10:34p) -college dorm room whoopsie-

(10:35p) >Rofllll<

(10:36p) ~i deserve that, but also be gentle with me, i'm sensitive right now.~

(10:37p) -it'll b fine-

(10:37p) -u dnt even kno if shes pregnant yet-

(10:37p) -try not 2 freak-

(10:38p) >Said the pot to the kettle.<

(10:39p) -stfu-

(10:40p) ~i dunno if i'm ready for this yet, guys.~

(10:41p) -tbh idk if we wud have been rdy even if we had gotten pregnant on purpose-

(10:41p) -life happens n u kinda just live it-

(10:41p) -but we promise we aint goin nowhere-

(10:42p) ~you got my bacterial meningitis?~

(10:43p) >Hell, brother, we're so supportive we have your bacterial meningitis /and/ your viral meningitis.<

(10:44p) ~damn.~

(10:44p) ~guess i can't wish for better support than that.~

  
  


_ [three days later] _

  
  


(1:07p) ~maggie isn't pregnant.~

(1:10p) -for sure? i thot u were goin up 2 c her n do the test 2morrow-

(1:11p) ~i'm still going up but no need for the test. she got her period. false alarm.~

(1:12p) >Crisis averted then, huh?<

(1:13p) ~yeah, crisis averted.~

(1:14p) -u gud?-

(1:14p) >You seem kinda, idk, lackluster.<

(1:15p) ~no it's good, neither of us were ready.~

(1:15p) ~we haven't even lived together yet, we've been long distance for years, we aren't ready for those big steps.~

(1:16p) >But…?<

(1:17p) ~i dunno.~

(1:17p) ~i'm kind of sad and i'm not sure why.~

(1:18p) -bc mb part of u wnted it?-

(1:19p) ~i guess. that's dumb, though, i shouldn't want it.~

(1:20p) -u luv ur girl n u luv kids n u wnt 2 b w/ her n have a family-

(1:20p) -idk y itd b wrong 2 b kinda disappointed-

(1:21p) >For real. And like, maybe now isn't the time, but at least now you know you're open to it and it's something to revisit down the line.<

(1:22p) -n in the meantime u can spoil my 2 cuz they luv their uncle glenn-

(1:23p) ~ :) ~

(1:23p) ~thanks, ghouls.~

(1:23p) ~don't say it.~

(1:24p) >You're off the hook today.<

(1:24p) >Tomorrow's fair game, tho, so watch out.<

(1:25p) ~yeah yeah. when is it /your/ turn for a pregnancy scare?~

(1:26p) >Preferably never. If Michonne and I have kids I'm hoping for it to be planned, tyvm.<

(1:27p) -wheres the fun in tht?-

(1:28p) >Rofl, I'm good. I'll just get my fixes with the Dixon twins along with Glenn.<

(1:28p) >For now, anyway.<

(1:29p) -yall better have kids eventually-

(1:30p) ~key word being eventually.~

(1:31p) >You have more, Daryl, if you're so gung ho about it.<

(1:32p) -yeah tht needs the wifes approval-

(1:32p) -plus we're still tryna figure out $ from the last time we did tht-

(1:32p) ~eventually?~

(1:33p) -yeah maybe-

(1:34p) >Time will tell for all three of us, I suppose.<

(1:34p) >But until then: "Dear Michonne, how's that IUD…"<

* 

(4:16p) ~daryl, how do you keep sex interesting when you're married with kids? have you guys tried new stuff?~

(4:19p) - _ you blocked dumbass _ -

(4:20p) >Hahahaha!<

…

(4:45p) - _ you unblocked dumbass _ -

(4:45p) -did u learn ur lesson?-

(4:47p) ~no. so how's your sex life with carol?~

(4:48p) -y do u care??-

(4:50p) ~i was thinking about the future, and about how maggie and i are planning on moving in together in june, and i'm like, what if our sex life gets really routine and boring? and you seem to not have that problem, and you're married and have twin toddlers, and i was wondering what the secret was.~

(4:50p) ~i mean, i'm assuming you don't have that problem. i feel like you would have mentioned it if you did.~

(4:51p) -our sex life is fine-

(4:51p) -n private-

(4:52p) >Maybe the secret is being good at sex, Glenn. In which case, rip your sex life. :( <

(4:53p) ~i am perfectly fine at sex, thanks.~

(4:54p) >Just what everyone wants in a partner. "Oh yeah, my boyfriend is perfectly fine at sex."<

(4:55p) ~i'm amazing at sex. better?~

(4:56p) >Are you though?<

(4:57p) ~are you propositioning me, rick? cuz i'm flattered, but taken.~

(4:58p) -hi this convo is real dumb can we move on now?-

(4:59p) ~after you answer the question. how do you and carol keep the magic alive?~

(5:00p) -dear god nvr say tht again-

(5:00p) -idk dude we just have sex-

(5:01p) ~do you change things up?~

(5:02p) -jfc-

(5:03p) >Yeah, Daryl, how creative are you?<

(5:04p) -stfu rick ur just tryna make this worse 4 fun-

(5:05p) >Correct.<

(5:05p) >You ever do any crazy positions? BDSM? Butt stuff?<

(5:06p) -i'll block u 2 watch it-

(5:07p) >Dirty talk?<

(5:08p) ~he barely regular talks.~

(5:09p) >That's fair.<

(5:10p) -omfg shut uppp-

(5:10p) -u wna kno the secret glenn?-

(5:11p) ~yes, that's the point here.~

(5:12p) -we luv each other n make time 4 each other even tho we're busy-

(5:12p) -thts it-

(5:13p) >So no butt stuff?<

(5:14p) - _ you blocked grp prjct rick _ -

(5:15p) -anyway dnt overthink it just b w/ ur girl n make time 4 her n nvr ask me 4 details abt wut carol n me do in bed ever again-

(5:16p) ~thanks, bud.~

(5:16p) ~i gotta admit, i am curious tho. what's your go-to position?~

(5:17p) - _ you blocked dumbass _ -

(5:17p) -fuk u both-

*

(9:59p) -ok so-

(9:59p) -rmbr how the docs have been on our ass lately bc jojo hasnt been tlking nearly @ all while jj is doing sentences n stuff?-

(10:00p) ~i recall this, yes.~

(10:01p) >Yeah, I vaguely remember your million texts long rant about it a few weeks back.<

(10:01p) >Why do you ask?<

(10:02p) -this lil fuker-

(10:02p) -like a half hr ago carol n me was sitting on the couch dozing like old married ppl n jojo comes out of her rm w/ her sippy cup n nudges me on the arm-

(10:02p) -n i was like "wsup bb?" bc she was sposed 2 b aslp-

(10:03p) -n usually she gestures 4 the things she wants but mb she was 2 tired or smthn but this girl she looks me rite in the eye n says "daddy i want more juice plz" like???-

(10:03p) -u cud tlk this whole time???-

(10:03p) -perfect sentence outta gd nowhere after not sayin shit 4 her whole gd life-

(10:04p) >Omg.<

(10:04p) ~that is fucking hilarious.~

(10:05p) ~she's always kinda been that way, tho, hasn't she? she refuses to meet milestones until she's got it down pat.~

(10:06p) >Your little perfectionist.<

(10:07p) -i fukin guess man-

(10:07p) -i told them drs tho i told em there wasnt nthn wrong w/ her-

(10:08p) >It's true, you've been very insistent.<

(10:08p) ~stubbornly so.~

(10:09p) -is it stubborn if i was rite?-

(10:10p) ~yes.~

(10:10p) >Yes.<

(10:11p) -smh w/e-

(10:11p) -me n carol were just like wtf-

(10:11p) -kinda just stared @ her til she handed me her cup-

(10:11p) -we gave her juice even tho we dnt usually give em a lot of juice @ bedtime just cuz we was so confused-

(10:12p) ~did she say anything else?~

(10:13p) -nope we told her 2 go back 2 slp n she nodded n went 2 her rm w/ her lil sippy cup-

(10:13p) -like ok then ig??-

(10:14p) >I think she's probably a secret genius or something.<

(10:15p) -o yeah shes way 2 smart 4 her own gud shes gna run circles arnd me-

(10:15p) -but check this shit out tho-

(10:16p) - _ you sent a photo _ -

(10:16p) -jj made tht 2day-

(10:17p) ~damn that's pretty good for a two year old.~

(10:18p) >I showed that to Michonne just now and she said that it's a really advanced drawing for a toddler because of art reasons that she said and I already forgot.<

(10:19p) -his sister deffo has brains but hes smthn special 2-

(10:19p) -doc said @ the last appt tht hes advanced like in how he plays pretend-

(10:19p) -jojo cant draw or play pretend 4 shit-

(10:19p) -theyre total opposites its so weird-

(10:20p) ~are they still getting along?~

(10:21p) -they pick on each other but they h8 bein apart-

(10:21p) -rmbr 2 weeks back whn jj had the ear infection? well barb watched jojo whn we took him 2 the dr n said she threw a tantrum the whole time n whn we got home she wudnt leave his side-

(10:22p) >Oh no, that's cute.<

(10:23p) ~they love each other.~

(10:24p) -they do-

(10:25p) ~it's surreal how much their personalities are coming out now that they're older. it used to just be that jesse babbled and fussed more and josie just mean mugged everyone silently.~

(10:26p) >God, right? Now you got your little Einstein and Picasso.<

(10:27p) -i kno-

(10:27p) -did i tell u we figured out jj is left handed?-

(10:28p) ~and i bet josie is right handed, huh?~

(10:29p) -yup-

(10:29p) -if i hadnt seen them come outta carol w/ my own 2 eyes i wud doubt they was even related-

(10:30p) ~genetics, man. that's some weird shit.~

(10:31p) >Truly inspired words, Glenn.<

(10:31p) > _ grp prjct rick changed the group name to "Genetics: That's some weird shit!" _ <

(10:32p) ~okay, but am i wrong?~

(10:33p) -no u aint wrong-

(10:33p) -it is-

(10:33p) -dnt matter none tho i luv the shit outta my kids no matter wut their personalities r like-

(10:34p) >But like, we're all secretly glad they're not dumb douchebags, though, right?<

(10:35p) -i mean-

(10:35p) -it helps-

(10:35p) -but id love em if they were-

(10:36p) >Makes sense, you've got a lot of practice loving dumb douchebags...<

(10:36p) ~do not.~

(10:36p) >...Since you've been friends with Glenn for years.<

(10:37p) ~goddamnit. go fuck yourself.~

(10:38p) -pffft-

(10:38p) -thts tru-

(10:39p) ~you can fuck yourself, too.~

(10:40p) >Rofl. Congrats on your daughter secretly knowing how to speak after needlessly worrying her pediatrician, Daryl.<

(10:41p) -lol thnx-

(10:41p) -wonder how many yrs itll b b4 she says smthn else-

*

(1:29p) -hey shitface-

(1:29p) -get in the fukin grpchat rn n let me kick ur ass-

(1:31p) >Me?<

(1:32p) -no-

(1:33p) ~me?~

(1:34p) -yes-

(1:34p) -im gna kill u-

(1:35p) >I'm sure he deserves it, but what did he do this time?<

(1:36p) ~is this about the racoon thing?~

(1:37p) -no-

(1:37p) -wait-

(1:37p) -wut racoon thing?-

(1:38p) ~nothing. there is no racoon thing.~

(1:39p) - :/ -

(1:39p) -i'll kick ur ass 4 w/e thts abt l8r-

(1:39p) -rn u gotta die 4 a diff reason-

(1:40p) ~i'm genuinely drawing a blank on what i did recently to warrant this.~

(1:41p) >Except the racoon thing.<

(1:42p) ~there is no racoon thing.~

(1:42p) ~anyway, will you at least tell me why i'm dying before you murder me?~

(1:43p) -so we went grocery shopping this morn n we was in the checkout line n jj was sayin this thing hes been sayin a lot tht we hadnt been able 2 figure out wtf it meant-

(1:43p) -until he says it n this lady behind us in line basically chokes on her spit laughing-

(1:43p) -n me n carol r like ???-

(1:44p) ~oh, i think i might know where this is going…~

(1:45p) -yeah i bet u do-

(1:45p) -the lady is like "ur kid speaks korean?" n we were like "no??" but then we both were like "wait"-

(1:46p) >Rofllll<

(1:47p) -o hold on im not done-

(1:47p) -we tell the lady a friend of ours (which u aint no more btw) speaks korean n must have taught him-

(1:47p) -n carol asked her wut jj was sayin n the lady got all embarrassed n told us 2 ask our friend but carol kept insisting so finally the lady was like-

(1:47p) -it basically translates 2 "daddy smells like a butt"-

(1:48p) >Hahahahaha!<

(1:48p) ~hey, if that's jesse's opinion ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯~

(1:49p) -i h8 u so much-

(1:49p) -the lady tried 2 make it better by sayin how gud jj was at korean n im like-

(1:49p) -thnx but all he can do is insult me so-

(1:49p) -ur nvr watching the kids again-

(1:50p) ~you say that now, but as soon as you need a last minute babysitter you'll come crawling back.~

(1:51p) -wrong i'll nvr leave my house again if i gotta-

(1:51p) -move back 2 savannah my life is worse now tht u n maggie r back n town-

(1:52p) ~sorry bud, there's only so much i can do with a triple degree in women and gender studies, english, and history, with a minor in supply chain management. no one knows what to do with me, i gotta take work where i can find it.~

(1:53p) >You manage a Pizza Hut. That has nothing to do with any of your degrees, except /maybe/ supply chain management. See, this is why you should have declared a major instead of just taking classes until you ended up with something.<

(1:54p) ~shhhh, college is over, we don't need to talk about it anymore.~

(1:55p) -ur rite bc we aint done tlkin abt how ur teaching my kids how 2 say mean things 2 me in korean-

(1:55p) -jojo's been sayin smthn weird 2 me n carol all the time 2 n we figured it was nonsense but u proly taught her shit 2 didnt u?-

(1:56p) ~actually no, not explicitly. i talk to them in korean sometimes for fun to see how much they retain. what is it that she's saying?~

(1:57p) -idfk how 2 spell it idek how 2 rly say it-

(1:58p) ~try and i'll see if i can figure it out.~

(1:59p) -idk its just 1 word i think n it starts w/ an s-

(1:59p) -ends w/ a sort of ay sound?-

(1:59p) -i dunno-

(2:00p) ~...is it "salanghae"?~

(2:01p) -ya i think its tht-

(2:02p) ~and you said she says it to you and carol?~

(2:03p) -yeah a lot-

(2:04p) ~ oh no. :( ~

(2:05p) -shit how bad is it wut does it mean-

(2:06p) ~daryl, it means "i love you".~

(2:07p) -...srsly?-

(2:07p) >Oh noooo.<

(2:08p) ~does she say it when you put her down for bed?~

(2:09p) -yeah now tht u mention it-

(2:10p) ~i tell them both that whenever it's nap time, but i say it in english, too. i bet they've picked up on what it means.~

(2:10p) ~she's telling you it on purpose.~

(2:11p) -...-

(2:11p) -o no-

(2:11p) -she dnt ever say ilu unless we tell her 2-

(2:12p) >Jfc, she will only express affection if it's in another language you don't understand. She is so much your daughter.<

(2:13p) -she is-

(2:13p) -i luv both my kids exactly the same dnt get me wrong but me n jojo get each other p well-

(2:13p) -jj mite b an alien hes so gd weird n i dnt understand his thot process abt anything but thts y hes so cool-

(2:14p) ~i've noticed that they're kind of your typical momma's boy/daddy's girl types.~

(2:15p) >Me too. Like, they adore you both, but you and Josie are like, bros, and Carol can get on whatever weird wavelength Jesse's on pretty easily.<

(2:16p) -yeah i can c tht tho i hope they dnt think tht means we're playing favorites or smthn-

(2:17p) ~nah, i think that's just how it works. they're people, and people have personalities that jive better with some more than others. doesn't mean you prefer one over the other.~

(2:18p) -makes sense-

(2:19p) >Okay, but back up. Do I still get to see you murder Glenn? Or did your little daddy's girl melt your heart enough to forgive him? Cuz I was kind of looking forward to that.<

(2:20p) -ig he can live for now-

(2:21p) > :( <

(2:22p) -just until i figure out w/e the racoon thing is-

(2:22p) -then im sure he'll hafta die-

(2:23p) >Oh, that's a relief.<

(2:24p) ~for fuck's sake, there is no racoon thing.~

(2:24p) ~(that you know of.)~

*

(11:09a) -sdmm cmwo CV vl-

(11:09a) -hahAwjvj,++)3ksk-

(11:09a) -sfddddsssdddddddsddddddddddd-

(11:10a) >Hey brother, you having a stroke?<

(11:11a) -skwl md j¿¿-

(11:12a) ~starting to think that daryl's phone may have been hijacked.~

(11:14a) - _ you sent an audio recording _ -

(11:16a) >You sure? It seems pretty like Daryl to send a two minute long audio recording of absolutely nothing.<

(11:16a) >Maybe he's just trying to text like you, Glenn.<

(11:17a) ~i do not sex that bad, for the love of god.~

(11:17a) ~.......~

(11:17a) ~that text doesn't count.~

(11:18a) -ñññññññ-

(11:19a) >I think that Jesse and/or Josie is agreeing with me.<

(11:19a) ~wrong.~

(11:20a) -سل نععيششمثل ةةكسثثهغننن-

(11:21a) ~damn, i knew the twins were smart but i didn't realize they were bilingual.~

(11:22a) -ريحة سارة مقرفة شككملزوزم-

(11:23a) >Amen, you said it. Whatever you said.<

(11:30a) ~...are they done?~

(11:31a) >I dunno. It's eerily quiet…<

(11:36a) -finally jfc-

(11:37a) ~is this daryl or did the twins become literate in the past fourteen minutes?~

(11:38a) -guess-

(11:38a) -the lil snots stole my fone n changed the language 2 arabic n it took me 4ever to figure out how 2 change it back-

(11:38a) -i was helping carol w/ her french homework n they took advantage of me bein distracted-

(11:38a) -nvr turn ur backs on toddlers not even 4 a sec-

(11:39a) ~okay but why the hell is carol taking french again? she hates french.~

(11:40a) -she rly rly rly h8s french-

(11:40a) -but she realized she needed a language credit 2 graduate n the other courses were all full-

(11:40a) -she was piiiiiisssssed-

(11:41a) >Does she still have that app downloaded that you guys are super weird about?<

(11:42a) -duolingo n yes she does n last nite she legit stopped having sex w/ me bc she 4got 2 do her lesson 4 the day n it was almost midnite-

(11:42a) -it keeps track of how many days in a row u do it ig-

(11:43a) ~hahahahaha!~

(11:43a) >Rofllll<

(11:43a) ~please tell me you had only just begun getting frisky when she remembered. like, she didn't stop actual intercourse, right?~

(11:44a) -ew dnt use the word intercourse-

(11:44a) -but like-

(11:44a) -nah we were p far into it :/ -

(11:45a) ~you got cockblocked by the duolingo owl.~

(11:46a) -yeah basically lmao-

(11:47a) >Did you at least pick up where you left off afterwards?<

(11:48a) -lol no jj had a nitemare or smthn like five min after we got back into it n came n slept in our rm the rest of the nite-

(11:49a) >That's tragic.<

(11:49a) ~and super funny.~

(11:49a) >Super super funny.<

(11:50a) -fuk off-

(11:51a) ~hey, maybe you didn't cum but at least carol didn't break her streak.~

(11:51a) >Silver linings.<

(11:52a) -mhm sure-

(11:52a) -thank gonorrhea 4 tht-

*

(5:17p) -things non parent daryl nvr thot hed b excited abt: -

(5:17p) -lil voices sayin the abcs-

(5:17p) -hearin someone count to 10 in the rite order-

(5:17p) -watchin someone take their 1st piss in the toilet-

(5:17p) -n now knockin on strangers doors n askin 4 candy-

(5:19p) >Ooh, are you guys taking the kids trick or treating this year??<

(5:20p) -ya-

(5:20p) -glenns here. maggie has 2 work but hes coming w/ so him n carol can tlk 2 the ppl n i can awkwardly look @ the ground behind them-

(5:21p) ~yes, hello.~

(5:22p) > :( <

(5:22p) >I want to help take the kids trick or treating.<

(5:23p) ~you graduate police academy at the end of the year. you and Michonne could come home.~

(5:24p) >Lol let's not think about life choices right now or maybe ever.<

(5:24p) >Show me the kids' costumes instead.<

(5:26p) - _ you sent a photo _ -

(5:27p) >Is Jesse…What is Jesse?<

(5:28p) -an egg-

(5:29p) >Just like...an egg?<

(5:30p) -mhm we asked em wut they wanted 2 b n jojo said dog-

(5:30p) -n jj said egg-

(5:31p) >He's a very cute egg but like, why?<

(5:32p) -¯\\_(ツ)_/¯-

(5:32p) -who fukin knows how tht kids brain works-

(5:32p) -we asked him a bunch ovr the past couple weeks n he said egg every time-

(5:33p) ~he damn near lost his mind when he saw himself in his costume.~

(5:33p) ~"look uncle glenn i love it!!! do you love it???"~

(5:34p) >Your son is a weirdo, Daryl.<

(5:34p) >But tell him Uncle Rick loves it too.<

(5:36p) -i told him just now n he asked if u were coming w/ us n was sad whn i said no-

(5:37p) >Goddamnit. :( <

(5:38p) ~maybe next year.~

(5:38p) ~here this will cheer u up.~

(5:39p) -do not send tht pic-

(5:39p) - _ dumbass sent a photo _ -

(5:40p) >Rofllll<

(5:40p) >Nice cat ears, brother.<

(5:41p) -stfu 4ever-

(5:41p) -i wasnt gonna do it but carol put it on me as a joke n it made the kids rly happy so i had 2 keep it ok?-

(5:42p) >The sacrifices of parenthood.<

(5:43p) ~we're gonna go trick or treating at merle's under the guise of letting him see the twins' costumes, but really it's so he can make fun of daryl until he dies.~

(5:44p) -ur dressed as a fukin pizza-

(5:44p) - _ you sent a photo _ -

(5:45p) >Yes, but we expect this kind of behavior from Glenn. It's not as deeply hilarious as it is when you do it.<

(5:46p) -wtf ever-

(5:46p) -the kids r done w/ dinner so we're leaving now gudbye-

(5:46p) -go fuk urself while we're gone-

(5:47p) >Have fun kitty cat.<

(5:48p) -jfc-

—-

(8:01p) - _ you sent a photo _ -

(8:01p) -sugar crash-

(8:04p) >Oh man, they are passed tf out.<

(8:04p) >All the candy wrappers around them tho. That chaotic energy. You should hang that picture up in a museum.<

(8:05p) -we shudnt have let them eat as much as we did but it was their 1st real halloween-

(8:06p) ~and also daryl's a pushover.~

(8:07p) -stfu-

(8:08p) >Did they like trick or treating?<

(8:09p) -jj was having the time of his life-

(8:09p) -jojo wasnt so sure until we told her they were giving out chocolate n then she decided it was worth it-

(8:10p) ~everyone kept asking jesse what he was supposed to be, and every time he just fucking beamed and said, "a egg!"~

(8:11p) >He was a very proud egg.<

(8:12p) -he proly will b rly sad whn he has 2 take the costume off-

(8:13p) ~that's always the worst part of halloween. turning back into a human.~

(8:14p) >Still, it's exciting that they're finally old enough to enjoy holidays.<

(8:15p) -yeah its cool-

(8:15p) -carol n me aint rly ever had much reason 2 do holidays til we met each other but now theyre actually super fun-

(8:15p) -i get it now-

(8:16p) >What are your guys' plans for the rest of the night?<

(8:17p) ~i'm already back at home and am playing games on my computer in bed.~

(8:18p) -after we pick the kids up off the floor n put em in their room carol n me r gonna go thru their candy 4 the stuff we want lol n then make reeses ice cream bowls w/ the reeses we froze earlier-

(8:19p) >The real reason you had kids was for free Halloween candy, isn't it?<

(8:20p) -deffo a perk-

(8:21p) >Well I'm glad everyone seemed to have fun. Hopefully I can join you next time.<

(8:22p) ~hopefully, but you and michonne will be here for thanksgiving and christmas, and that's not long. don't fret.~

(8:23p) >I know. It would just be nice for us all to be in the same town all the time, but I dunno if we'll be leaving Atlanta. It depends on jobs. The art museum Michonne is interning at already implied they would hire her after she graduates in December.<

(8:24p) >You guys should move to Atlanta.<

(8:25p) -$$$ tho-

(8:26p) >Yeah. :/ <

(8:27p) ~something will fall into place. the world can't keep team groupchat apart forever.~

(8:28p) >Here's hoping.<

(8:28p) >Go play your games and scrape your children off the floor. I'm gonna go pull a Glenn and overthink the meaning of my life.<

(8:29p) - _ you sent a photo _ -

(8:29p) -look @ this slpy dog n slpy egg 2 cheer u up-

(8:30p) > :') <

(8:30p) >Thanks.<

(8:30p) >That does help.<

*

(2:26p) -it finally happened n now i have 2 die-

(2:29p) >It meaning what, exactly?<

(2:30p) ~did you get your period?~

(2:31p) -no worse-

(2:31p) -went over 2 barbs 2 help w/ thnxgiving this morn-

(2:31p) -bro was alrdy here-

(2:31p) -had clearly been here 4 a long time-

(2:31p) -was wearing his shirt inside out-

(2:31p) -fukin had the balls 2 wink @ me-

(2:31p) -ajfkskalgk-

(2:32p) -i told u i fukin told u tht barbs alcoholism was the only thing keeping them from jumping each other-

(2:32p) -but no carol had 2 b all like "but auntie we want u 2 b healthy 4 the kids"-

(2:32p) -fuk the kids this is gross!!!-

(2:33p) ~i am laughing so hard there are actual tears down my face, oh my god.~

(2:33p) >I'm at Michonne's parent's house and I had to excuse myself so I could go bust up in the bathroom.<

(2:34p) -its not funny gdi-

(2:34p) -i still have 2 eat w/ them here soon how tf am i sposed 2 look either of them in the eye?-

(2:35p) ~christmas has come early this year.~

(2:36p) >What'd Carol say?<

(2:37p) -shes no gd help she thinks its funny 2-

(2:37p) -o no my bro found my hiding spot hold on-

(2:46p) -he used-

(2:46p) -the word-

(2:46p) -cougar-

(2:47p) >Hahahahahaha!<

(2:47p) ~i am dead, this killed me, i'm typing this from the grave.~

(2:48p) -he told me not 2 worry tht they aint a couple or nthn just fwb-

(2:48p) -tht doesnt make it better merle wtf???-

(2:48p) -i have 2 leave i cant handle this-

(2:49p) ~me either, my abs are genuinely sore.~

(2:49p) >Same. Michonne finally came looking for me and I had to tell her why I was locked in the bathroom laughing my ass off and now she's laughing too.<

(2:50p) -i h8 u both so much ur the worst support system im taking my kids n moving 2 the woods-

(2:51p) >Damn, even Carol is getting left behind.<

(2:52p) -she asked me who i think tops so yeah im filing 4 divorce 1st thing in the morn-

(2:53p) ~this year i am thankful for daryl's slutty brother and carol's slutty aunt.~

(2:53p) >This made me believe in god.<

(2:54p) ~ _ dumbass changed the group name to "turkey and stuffing and cougars, oh my!" _ ~

(2:55p) >Pffffft.<

(2:56p) -i hope u both drop dead into the mashed potatoes-

(2:57p) >Happy Thanksgiving, brother!<

(2:57p) ~definitely one for the books.~

*

(10:32a) -me n carol were tlking last nite abt stuff-

(10:35a) ~what kind of stuff?~

(10:37a) -job n $ n location stuff-

(10:37a) -i asked her if she had nymore thots abt wut she wnted 2 do now tht shes graduated n she threw me a curveball n asked me wut i thot abt her opening up her own business-

(10:39a) ~no shit?~

(10:39a) >What kind of business?<

(10:40a) -she said she was thinking abt mb a bakery-

(10:40a) -it wud make sense w/ her culinary degree-

(10:42a) ~i think she could rock it.~

(10:43a) -me2 n she said she'd been looking into it n thinks we've paid off enuf of our debts tht we cud swing a business loan-

(10:43a) -she also asked me wut i thot abt starting the bakery in atlanta…-

(10:44a) >!!!!<

(10:44a) ~what? no! you can't leave me. :( ~

(10:45a) -well actually carol had mentioned tht mb u wud b interested in helping her since u have a few business classes under ur belt n tht random supply chain management minor-

(10:46a) ~for real?~

(10:47a) ~mhm she said she cud use ur help but wasnt sure if u n maggie wud wanna make a move like tht-

(10:48a) >Do it do it do it!<

(10:49a) -lol we still got a lot 2 figure out 1st n we'd hafta find somewhere in atlanta we cud afford-

(10:50a) >There are some decent properties on the outskirts that both of you might look into. Daryl, you guys like your privacy, so being outside of town would be good, and Glenn, Maggie could do her land and gardening shit while still being by the city.<

(10:51a) ~i bet i could convince her. she likes being by her family but atlanta is way closer than columbia was.~

(10:52a) >Let's say everything did work out, Daryl. How soon would you wanna make the move?<

(10:53a) -asap i think-

(10:53a) -she said she alrdy was researching how 2 write business plans-

(10:53a) -we'd wna do it b4 the kids start kindergarten next fall-

(10:54a) -theyre both super rdy 4 real skool i think-

(10:54a) -jj is kinda a trouble maker but i think its cuz they dnt get him v well-

(10:54a) -hes smart tho n jojo is bored 2 tears w/ preskool stuff since this is their 2nd yr of it bc they didnt meet the cutoff 2 start kindergarten this yr-

(10:54a) -they was both 5 by sep 7th but the cutoff was 5 by sep 1st its so stupid but w/e-

(10:54a) -theres better skools 4 them in atlanta they dnt need this small town bs-

(10:55a) >So you guys are thinking soon then?<

(10:56a) -if we can-

(10:56a) -itll take a lot of work but itd b real cool-

(10:57a) ~what would you do for work?~

(10:58a) -idk prob the same sort of stuff tho it wud kinda suck w/out dale bein my boss-

(10:58a) -idrc wut i do as long as i got time 2 spend w/ my fam so im not like in luv w/ cars but i can b a mechanic its w/e itd b decent $ w/ my experience-

(10:59a) ~maybe carol's bakery will get super successful and you can be a stay at home dad.~

(11:00a) -u joke but thts like the dream-

(11:00a) -esp if we ever had another bb but even if we didnt id luv just takin care of the house n the kids-

(11:00a) -id kill it as a housewife-

(11:01a) >It's true.<

(11:02a) ~oh for sure.~

(11:02a) ~but keep me updated, man! tell carol i'm definitely interested.~

(11:03a) -i will she'll prob text u-

(11:04a) >Come live near meeee.<

(11:05a) ~is that an order, officer?~

(11:06a) >Yes, it's now law that you all have to move to Atlanta, and if you don't I have the right to use deadly force.<

(11:07a) -damn ig now we gotta-

(11:08a) ~i can smell it, ghouls, change is in the air.~

*

(9:19p) -just got home-

(9:19p) -barb wud not let us leave lmao-

(9:22p) >Was she a mess?<

(9:24p) -o hardcore-

(9:24p) -cried a lot i had no idea how 2 handle it-

(9:24p) -i feel bad shes been in the kids life since literally the day they was born idk if shes ever gone more than a week or 2 w/out seein them-

(9:25p) ~at least you're just moving to atlanta and not like, shanghai or something. it's not that far.~

(9:26p) -ik-

(9:26p) -worried abt the twins tho idk how well they understand-

(9:27p) -jj suggested we just take everyone w/ us 2 our new house-

(9:27p) -he said he n jojo wud share their rm-

(9:28p) ~that's adorable and also sad.~

(9:28p) >What about Josie?<

(9:29p) -she asked me 3 diff times if i was sure henry is coming w/ us-

(9:29p) -shes real worried we're gna leave him behind-

(9:29p) -idk whn henry became her dog instead of mine and carols-

(9:30p) >The second they met rofl.<

(9:31p) -lol prob-

(9:32p) ~how's merle doing?~

(9:33p) -eh idk its hard 2 tell w/ him sumtimes-

(9:33p) -he acted happy 4 us but i think hes p bummed-

(9:33p) -hes got a p steady routine tht keeps him sober n i think he knows he needs tht cuz otherwise i think he'd b rite behind us on the interstate up 2 atlanta-

(9:34p) ~all our families still live there, we'll visit a lot.~

(9:35p) -ik-

(9:35p) -u kno wut was a surprisingly hard gudbye tho?-

(9:36p) >Hm?<

(9:37p) -my therapist-

(9:37p) -@ the end of the session we both was like "idk wut 2 say now"-

(9:37p) -she said tht off the record i was 1 of her fave clients n tht she'd miss me-

(9:37p) -i told her she was my fave therapist n she laffed n tht was kinda it-

(9:38p) ~change is always really bittersweet.~

(9:39p) -yeah-

(9:39p) -this house is so empty rn it makes me feel sum type of way-

(9:40p) -like its still a pos but its the place i got away from my dad n where carol n me 1st lived 2gether-

(9:40p) -its where my i brought my bbies home-

(9:40p) -idk imma miss it-

(9:41p) >There's a lot of your history in those walls.<

(9:42p) ~remember lydia?~

(9:43p) -i nvr 4got her-

(9:44p) >Right, the ghost. The very real ghost.<

(9:45p) -smh im having a moment rick dnt b an ass-

(9:46p) >Yeah yeah.<

(9:46p) >For real though, it's gonna be weird knowing we're never gonna hang out there again."

(9:47p) ~but you got new adventures awaiting you, buddy. we all do.~

(9:48p) >And at least we're all together.<

(9:48p) >Hell, at this point, I think we're stuck together.<

(9:49p) ~we better be.~

(9:50p) -yeah u cant go nywhere like im better thn i was in high skool but i still dk how 2 make more friends-

(9:51p) ~don't worry darling, we'll be here.~

(9:51p) ~ :/ ~

(9:51p) ~*daryl.~

(9:52p) -lmfao thnx-

(9:53p) > _ grp prjct rick changed the group name to "We got your bacterial meningitis until the world stops spinning, darling" _ <

(9:54p) ~ _ dumbass changed the group name to "it's autocorrect leave me alone" _ ~

(9:55p) > _ grp prjct rick changed the group name to "it's always autocorrect, you should have learned by now" _ <

(9:56p) ~ _ dumbass changed the group name to "i regret our entire friendship" _ ~

(9:57p) > _ grp prjct rick changed the group name to "you and me both" _ <

(9:58p) - _ you changed the group name to "team grpcht 4ever" _ -

(9:59p) >Amen brother.<

(10:00p) ~bffs until the end of the world.~

*

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i had to pepper in some wholesome TG before we start the next scrap metal installment, right? esp bc we're about to make a pretty sharp left turn in terms of plot. hopefully the timeline on this made enough sense that you got through it okay. look for the first chapter of the next fic here in the next week or two, and we'll talk update schedule then. thank you so much to everyone who's encouraged this horrible monster of a trilogy. it has completely consumed me and left me a shell of the person i once was, and i don't regret it for a second.
> 
> <3 u all. more to come.
> 
> deuces,  
-diz


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